he's back

Most likely I grabbed your attention because I used the word “SEX” in the headline of this post.

There’s no denying that media and advertising use the word “sex” or convey the feeling of sex in their ads to get the attention of customers.

However, the big winners who get their ex back, know that there’s another 3 letter word that is more potent than SEX. That word is YOU.

Why is YOU so powerful?

Because when we were young, we thought we were the center of the universe. That everything revolved around us. Nothing else mattered but ME, MYSELF and I. Everything and everyone around us was just a shadowy form to please us and fulfill our needs.

Self-centered little gremlins we were, our tiny brains translated every word, every action into…

How does that affect me?

As we slowly morphed into adults, that same self-centered attitude still exists, though fortunately, it’s a little more reformed and polite. We have become civilized and learned how to mask this “self-centeredness” in a polite way.

Our human brain still instinctively translates everything it hears and sees into “How does that affect me?”

Here’s an example to illustrate what I’m trying to say.

You want to invite your co-worker out to dinner, so you can ask in 1 or 2 ways:

1. There’s a really good Thai restaurant in town. Will you join me for dinner there tonight?
2. You will really love this new Thai restaurant in town. Will you join me there for dinner tonight?

From the above 2 sentences, which do you think is more powerful in getting a “yes”?

In the first situation, your co-worker will think to themself… “By ‘good’, does it mean the food is good or the atmosphere, or both?” Your co-worker then continues thinking to themself, “Thai cuisine?”

During this whole time of thinking and pondering, your co-worker hesitates. As they hesitate, reasons to why they shouldn’t join you start creeping into their head.

So what you need to do is answer your co-workers questions subliminally by re-pharasing it as:

• You will really love this new Thai restaurant in town. Will you join me there for dinner tonight?

That way you are more likely to get a quick “yes”.

The pleasure-pain principle is a guiding force in our lives.

Psychologists tell us that we gravitate towards pleasure and pull away from pain. Ok, no big secret there!

For many folks, “thinking” is painful. So by using the 2nd phrase above, we minimise the amount our ex needs to think, increasing our chances of getting a “yes” from them.

So the big winners (those who successfully manage to get their ex’s back), realise that they need to do the thinking for their ex.

They translate everything they say and do into their ex’s terms by starting as many sentences as possible with the word “YOU”.

And I call this technique Comm-YOU-nication.

Enjoy this gold nugget. I know personally it’s helped me in the past and many of my clients also use it with great success.

Enjoy your weekend and Happy Easter for those Catholics out there.

James