he's back

I can be vague here and sit on the fence by saying that many things go into causing a break up, all pretty much with equal weighting.

• cheating on our ex
• lack of respect
• childish games
• the constant fights

…this list can be as long as the river Nile.

However, let me open your eyes to the real truth. If you dig deep, the vast majority of break ups (*92% in fact), has come about due to the lack of “friendship” in a relationship.

Let me explain.

You see… you can’t be in a healthy relationship and NOT be friends. It simply doesn’t work.

Whilst a relationship may not start out on a friendship level, the elements of friendship need to come out sooner than later for it to last.

A lot of relationships first start with passion and infatuation. These tend to escalate, but they are not everlasting.

The honeymoon period does lose its shine; at some point you will find that you notice the flaws in your partner and that perhaps you aren’t getting along as easily as in the beginning.

You realize that your partner isn’t perfect. This is not the time to bail as there is NO perfect person out there. Now is the time where the friendship bond comes in.

Your friendship grows over time and that’s what holds the two of you together through the ups and downs of life and relationships.

Think of what friends provide and have:

• great times together
• a listening ear
• trust
• know each other
• respect and accept each other

Isn’t this a cool bunch of things to have in a relationship?

This list can also be quite an eye-opener. Did all or any of these exist in your relationship?

Questions you need to ask yourself:

• Did we do things together and have fun?
• Did we listen to each other i.e. give the other person a chance to speak and really try to understand their point of view?
• If I asked you what your ex’s favorite color was, would you know it? Do you know how they would respond to various situations?
• Did your actions always reflect your words? Example: did you view yourself as considerate, yet you often cooked meals your ex didn’t like?
• Did it worry you if you didn’t know exactly where your ex was and what they were doing?

If you and your ex were not friends, then my bottom dollar is that this was a significant driving force in pushing the two of you apart.

The friendship part in a relationship NEEDS to exist otherwise you’re doomed to fail again. I can’t stress this enough.

So if you’re looking to get your ex back, and keep them back in your arms, next time try developing that friendship level and reap the rewards of a longer lasting relationship.

Cheers.

* source BTF – “survey to customers sep-09″