he's back

well, let's take the next step!!

There’s an old wives’ tale that says,

in order to truly know someone, you should date them through all four seasons – a full year – before getting married.

People change as the seasons change, so if you jump in too soon, you could be left with a sour taste in your mouth after six months.

So what happens when you’ve dated someone for a full year, you know you want to take the next step, but your partner is stuck on a rock unable to make up their mind?

Before you ask them if they’d like some syrup with their waffling, you’ll want to ask yourself some questions about your relationship.

Are There Better Options?

Is your relationship sizzling hot or is it just acceptable? Remember that settling down doesn’t mean you have to settle for less. If there are greener pastures just over the fence, then your partner may be thinking it’s time to jump and not commit to you.

What’s Your Family Like?

Does your partner mesh with your family or do they get on like oil and water?

Many times the deal breaker when deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone is whether they’d be able to tolerate your family.

How’s Money, Honey?

It doesn’t matter if you’re constantly broke or they are, money is an issue that tears couples apart. If your partner sees you as a sugar daddy (or worse yet, a mooch) then they won’t ever see you as an equal in the relationship.

Do You Trust Each Other?

Is there an inherent trust in your relationship? If you’re constantly worried the other person is going to leave you, then you’ll never feel comfortable saying “I do.”

Bad Habits

My friend once told me that after they had broken up, her ex-boyfriend told her that he could have never married her because she was too messy.

“I just saw myself having to follow you around, picking up after you for the rest of my life,” he said. “I couldn’t do it.”

What Will They Have To Give Up?

Being in a healthy relationship is all about compromise. You won’t be able to live the exact same lifestyle you had during your “single” days.

If your partner sees marriage being the end of their poker night or scrapbooking club, then they may not be ready to take the leap yet.

Parental Unit? No Thanks!

If you’re a single parent and your partner has no children, they may be wary about getting married because they aren’t ready to be a step-parent.

Location, Location, Location.

This happens with long-distance couples, but can also happen to local couples.

His dream is to retire in a cottage in Maine; her dream is a tiny efficiency in the heart of New York City. This may seem silly, but if you’re not happy where you are, it’s harder to be happy with the people you’re with.

Learning From Example

Some people shy away from marriage because they have seen so many marriages in their life go sour. This could be a worry for your partner, especially if they come from a broken home.

Just Not The One

If you’ve gone through all of these possibilities and not found one that rings true with your partner, maybe you’re just not right for each other.

There may not be any one specific thing that’s keeping you from tying the knot. Talk out all the possibilities with your partner and see if you can work through the reasons why they’re hesitant to say, “I do.”