We have been broken up for four months now and he used to avoid me, by completely turning away from looking at me when we would run into each other. Or if i was walking and he was in the car he would speed up to get by me.

We live around the block from each other so although there is no contact this is unavoidable. Now when we run into each other he doesn’t talk or turn around or run.

Is there something else I can try? I want to try to contact him soon, but I am not sure what this new reaction means? Is he indifferent? We were together for 2 decades. Could he really be happier or better off?

My girlfriend of over 5 years broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. It’s the old story of we met and we were inseparable for 3 years then she went to Australia (and we both agreed we’d wait for each other) with her friends for what was supposed to be 9 months cause i asked her to come home for Christmas and she said she would, this got pushed out to 15 months.

In the mean time she broke up with me while she was over there cause I was putting a lot of pressure on her to come home but she was having the time of her life. This only lasted a day and she said she was sorry, she was just confused, so i went over to see her for a month, it was great but i was very insecure with her.

Anyway she came home and i expected her to be all over me but she wasn’t, she had put on a little weight and she was very insecure about that hence not being all over me which fed my insecurities. I kept pestering her about why she wasn’t all over me, not affectionate etc etc until she cracked and said she doesn’t know how she feels about me and we broke up (this is only 3 weeks after she got home).

We left it for probably a week and I then talked her round by saying “of course you’re gonna be messed up after seeing the world and not your boyfriend for 15 months and all i do is pester you about sex, affection etc etc, so lets take things slow, go dating and find ourselves again”, she agreed and it was fine.

Even though we were back together in the back of my mind i was so insecure with her, even though she was telling me she loves me i didn’t really believe her. Our sex life was brilliant but I still couldn’t get shit out of my mind. Being dumped twice messes with your head.

Anyway I must add i’ve been a heavy pot smoker for a long time so maybe i couldn’t get shit out of my head because of this (i’m off it 6 weeks now) but due to this i kinda stopped spending loads of time with her, even though we’d ring each other 20 times a day i stopped going up to her even though she lives 5 minutes away.

I preferred playing playstation and smoking than going up to her on our usual regular nights and on our weekends she always went out with her friends while i stayed in to mind my daughter (oh forgot to add I’ve an 8 year old with someone else), but in saying all that that was never an issue, we did everything together, walks, cinema etc etc before she went away and for some reason we’d stopped doing that over the last few months.

I was just so insecure but loved her so much, i was always living in the past rather than focusing on who we are now and also I always thought she was going to dump me again.

I wouldn’t say we argued loads we’re not that type of people but it was my lack of effort i was putting into the relationship that she couldn’t take, and her excuse was she couldn’t see her taking the next step with me i.e. moving in together so she would rather split up now than hurt me when we were both at that stage. I can fully understand her reasons for breaking up cause all i did over the last few months was sit in and smoke but i’ve seen the errors of my ways and changed my lifestyle.

I gave her space and we had a talk 2 weeks after the breakup. I didn’t try and convince to get back just told her where i was in my life i.e. off the smoke, not a lazy person etc etc, so we left it as she needs to think.

2 weeks ago we met again and i asked her has she really dealt with the fact we’re finished and she says she hasn’t. She’s been keeping herself so busy but we talked anyway. I asked her not to miss this boat of me being a changed man which i am but she said it was her decision that she misses it, i asked her does she love me and she said yes but it was the relationship she isn’t in love with and she just can’t give anymore time or effort to it.

She said she tried since she’s come home but it’s just not working for her, she’s just not happy in the relationship and it’s gone for her.

I know i can make her happy and all it is is me copping on to myself and stop being so stupid by being insecure and living in the past all the time. 80% of our time since she came back has been brilliant but it was only over the last few months i got stupid and complacent and let shit get to me to the point i was smoking and not putting too much effort into it.

We are soul mates and i fully believe it and i’m hurting so so so much…what do i do, it’s nearly 7 weeks since we split and i’m so confused, how do i get her back?

We still have minor contact, the odd email but to be honest its me contacting her. Help somebody in ways to get her back.. i know we’re right for each other we both just lost sight of this..talk soon.

Well my situation is the same as of brandon.. in fact its gonna be close to 3 months… and when any of our common friends go and ask her about me or sorting things she says she don’t want to and she hates me… she is planning to get married soon and this is the only thing in her mind…. she is looking for different excuses and putting the blame on me… What should i do?

It’s time to act like “Cool Luke” and give her what she wants. If then can you stand a chance of getting her back. I’m going to email you now. Stand by for me email.

Cheers.

Anyways! Ive nagged my ex for a month after the breakup consistently. She feels harassed and i didn’t mean it like that i was looking for answers. (that bad state)

Well now she told me she doesn’t love me anymore, doesn’t want me in her life at all, ignores me. Even told me we will never be a couple again.

I know it sounds so terrible. She has a past of abusive relationships but i was really good to her. Please is there still hope after all that of winning her love back? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life and she opened my heart up when I thought love was all over for me.

We do work together as well. Help me please whats your thought?

What would you do in this situation to get her back? PLEASE! Thanks….Brandon physcadelic21@aol.com