he's back

There’s a secret to getting anyone to like you. Want to learn it?

I’ll tell you, but first let me tell you a story about my junior school days.

Get in the wayback machine and let’s back up to being a tween. Hormones are starting to come into play. Girls are ruthlessly teasing the boys; boys are ruthlessly teasing the girls.

And I was the evil matchmaker. Evil because I realized the trick that could get any girl and any boy together (and I used it!).

What was the trick? It was so easy, it’s laughable.

I’d go up to the boy and say, “Hey Matt, did you know Samantha likes you? She was totally talking yesterday about how cute and funny you are.”

Then I’d seek out the girl and spin a similar tale. “Sam, I was totally just talking to Matt and he said he thinks you’re the prettiest girl in class. Seriously! I think he likes you!”

Within a few days Matt and Samantha were dating, well, as much as you can call junior school relationship dating.

The key to this evil matchmaker routine I had is still useful in adult life.

People like people who they think like them.

As simple as it sounds, it’s the truth.

Matt and Sam had no interest in each other before I planted the seeds in their minds. They became a couple for no other reason than the fact that they thought the other person liked them.

Often, our communications sink like the Titanic because we’re too interested in ourselves. We’re self-absorbed. When the other person is talking, we’re only half listening. We think that the success of the conversation will hinge on the witty reply we have that keeps the conversation going. After all, nobody wants dead air! That would be horrible! Doom and destruction arise when there is a gap in the conversation!

Have you ever met a person who you instantly liked?
For me, that person is Kimmy, my best friend’s sister. When I first met Kim, she offered me a beer, made solid eye contact, smiled, and seemed genuinely happy to have met me.

We sat in the living room and she asked about my job. She sat facing me, leaning in, really focusing on what I had to say. After a pause, she would ask a thoughtful question or make a comment that made me feel like she was truly interested in me.

To this day, Kim is probably one of my favorite people. It’s also no surprise that she makes major bank in the customer service industry. She’s got the personality for it!

Shining the spotlight on the person who is talking is the best way to make them like you. Relax and let them steal the show.

When they pause, just smile. Take a moment to think about what they’ve said. Then ask a question that shows you’ve been listening and want to learn more about something they’ve said.

Go into a conversation with the expectation that you’ll learn about the other person.

If you go in with the goal of “get her to like me,” it will be harder to gauge your success and you’ll become frustrated and lose confidence if she doesn’t jump across the table to kiss you.

If you change your purpose from “get her to like me” to “learn about her”, then your chances for success are much closer to 100%.

If you’re showing her that you’re interested, she’ll read that as you liking her.

Did you know 88% of women assume that men are NOT interested when they first meet them? Seriously!

You can put her at ease immediately and express your interest in her just by making eye contact and listening. Show her that she’s important to you and that you’re interested in the things that she is passionate about. It’s that easy.

Changing your beliefs is another way to be successful in flirting or getting your ex back.

If you go into a flirting encounter assuming it will be tough and that she probably won’t like you, then your body will be sending subliminal messages reflecting your insecurity.

This is equally true if you’re trying to get your ex back. Don’t enter the situation on the defensive with your back to the wall. Go into the situation with a positive frame of mind, and this will then naturally show in your body language AND actions.

Go into the situation assuming that she already likes you and you’ll be much more confident. Your body language will communicate that you’re confident and at ease. Way more attractive, isn’t it?

Human beings mirror each other’s body language, so if you’re sending message that you’re confident and interested in her, she can’t help but send the same messages back to you.

Square off your bodies (face her directly), make direct and sustained eye contact, smile, and listen actively when she speaks. Show her that you’re interested in her and she’ll show that she’s interested in you.

Sound simple? That’s because it is. Now get out there and put your voodoo magic to work!